I hate bad customer service.
Nothing makes me angrier, nothing animates me more, nothing can drive me into a cold fury faster than lousy customer service.
This week was worse than most in this regard:
1. I shop quite a bit online, chiefly for the convenience of not having to shop. I took advantage of clothier Jos A Bank's sale on suits by ordering a couple in January. I was informed of a backorder status in February indicating I'd receive my merchandise by March 5th. Okay, it sucks, but things happen.
March 5th comes and goes without a word. I call up the company and they inform me that they have no idea when the suits will arrive and can obtain no further information. The woman asks if I want to wait. Wait? For what? The glaciers? It makes no logical sense to wait for something which will likely not arrive. I tell her to cancel my order, and she gives me an attitude.
I e-mail the company with some attitude of my own. When I get a response back, no name is associated with it. They offer 10% off my order and free overnight shipping. I point out the flaw in their logic---10% off an order I'll never receive is irrelevant, as is overnight shipping on something they don't have in their possession.
Sure enough, I get the notification that afternoon that half my order has shipped. Given that I'd ordered it with alterations, and that they mandate a 5-day window for such alterations, they both had to have my suit in possession and know about it.
Utter incompetence. I bet I won't get 10% off and it won't be shipped overnight either.
I won't be shopping at Jos A Bank, online or in-person, ever again, and recommend you don't either. Try their competitors---
Paul Frederick and
Men's Wearhouse are solid alternatives.
2. My car had a flat which I noticed when returning to the parking garage downtown at the end of a grueling day. I used my Fix-A-Flat to patch and partially inflate the tire (if you don't have some in your trunk, you should get some, unless you like putting a spare on for some odd reason). I limped toward my Saturn dealership, since I had some additional work I needed done. They close at 6 pm. 6 pm! Who on earth reliably goes home before then?
In any case, I elect to drop the car overnight (to avoid towing if the tire deflated overnight) and let them know I'd call first thing in the morning.
They never call me back despite promising to do so, and as I call throughout the day it's clear that their claims of working on my car "right now" are lies. They had to change a tire, replace a power lock relay, and replace a washer fluid jet---that's not a 7-hour fix, even in a UAW shop.
In any case, I lose most of the day at work (didn't want to bring my laptop home in case I had to have the car towed or leave it somewhere overnight) waiting for them to tell me I can pick it up.
At 3 pm, I finally call and find out it's ready. Saturn's service has precipitously declined since I bought my first Saturn back in 1992. I bought this one in 1998. I won't be buying another.
3. Now I needed to get to the Saturn dealership, which is about 5 miles from my home. I call a cab company. The lady takes my information and hangs up on me without confirming someone's on the way. No prompt, no interruption in the middle indicating a dropped line, she just hung up.
I wait a little bit.
When the cab hasn't arrived in 30 minutes, I call her back.
She tells me he's on the way, he'll call me in 1-2 minutes.
10 minutes later, I call back.
She tells me he's "trying" to get to me, sounding for all the world like a low-rent Miss Cleo channeling the dead.
I ask her why she lied to me about him either being here or calling me in 1-2 minutes.
She asks me if I want to cancel.
When I say yes, she hangs up.
In response to this wonderful customer service, I did what anybody would do in my circumstance---I started walking to the dealership. In a thunderstorm. After I passed the halfway point, my girlfriend found me and picked me up. She had to bail on work early to keep me from getting hit by lightning, drowned, or having to procure a lawyer for me when I strangled the next person to screw with me.
It's not hard to provide great customer service. I try to do it all the time in my professional life, and for the most part I succeed.
To do so, one must recognize a couple of basic business realities:
1. Customers pay your salary. Lost customers = lost wages.
2. Every pissed-off customer will tell everyone they know about their experience and do their level best to drive down your business. Unless you sell exclusively to agoraphobics or the antisocial, you're going to take a bigger hit than the one customer you failed to help.
3. Most customers are very reasonable---they just want some indication that their business matters to you. Mistakes happen---we all know this. But to treat people with disrespect and make no attempt to put things right when mistakes do happen is to cross the line from misdemeanor to felony poor customer service.
4. If you don't care about customer service, chances are your boss does. If she doesn't, chances are her boss does. And if a customer's really furious with you, they'll ride the org structure of your business all the way to the top if need be to take you down. They'll find someone who takes a very dim view of your inability to rectify this problem at your level eventually, and you'll have some career consequences for it.
The simplest path is to just do what it takes to satisfy customers, even if it means bending rules or going out on a limb.
If Jos A Bank had either tracked down my backorder or cut me a one-time good deal (say, a 25% discount or throw in a free belt and tie or something) I'd still be a loyal customer.
If Saturn had merely picked up the phone as they said they would, and if they had offered to send someone to pick me up or even given me a loaner (something they used to do all the time a few years ago) I'd still be a customer.
If the taxi dispatcher didn't try to string me along while her driver delivered another fare, I'd still be a customer.
As it is, I will go out of my way to avoid doing business with these companies in the future, and will offer my unsolicited opinion that their customer-facing employees were former Khmer Rouge functionaries on any and all occasions.
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