The Robble Robble Act

What to do about Sandy McBurglar?

Is there anyone who honestly thinks the coverage of Sandy Berger’s theft of classified documents wouldn’t be dramatically different if he were a conservative Republican?


Imagine for a second what would happen if Condoleezza Rice were caught by the good folks at the National Archives stealing sensitive documents by hiding them on her person. Would that story generate the same minimal play the Berger theft has? No — it would be a firestorm.

So, what ought Republicans do about Berger and his purloined documents?

Here’s an idea: House Republicans should force a vote on increasing the criminal penalties for removing classified material from a government archive. The maximum penalty for this crime, a misdemeanor, is currently one year of jail time and $100,000 fine. House Republicans should move a simple bill making it (1) a felony, with (2) a maximum prison sentence of five years, (3) a maximum fine of $500,000, and (4) a lifetime revocation of all security clearances.

Yeah, those ex post facto laws really sting.

How about this, instead?

Why don't the Republicans simply pass a law that no one goes into the Archives to inspect classified material without a body cavity search on the way out?

How about putting a security camera in the room, and releasing the footage of anyone caught stuffing classified material into their socks? (Yes, I know that allegation is in doubt).

How about the Republicans plaster the bandwidth with ads asking what Sandy knew and why he purged it?

Seems a better plan than passing yet another empty law DOJ and the federal bench will ignore whenever a connected party bigwig breaks it.