Blue Note On A Spring Sunday
Spring and Autumn are my favorite seasons. Don't know why, maybe the straddling of two extremes appeals to me on a visceral level -- I am not one for whom snap decisions are easy. Still, the seasons themselves never fail to invigorate me and awaken me to life. Autumn is a slowing down, a huddling in with expectation of cold holidays devoid of natural light, bracing for the tumult of the physical and emotional ice. The brisk air is a welcome refreshment from the oozing hell of late summer and its relentless lethargy.
Spring, on the other hand is birth, life, light, freedom, color, and vitality. Babies of every stripe are all around as God's nature surrounds a sea of sound and color. We open our doors more enthusiastically, a slight swagger in our walk; more self-assured now that the sun has dawned one Spring more.
This Spring is especially tender to me. I am no longer adrift wondering what "my life" will be like. I realize that up to this point, it has never failed to be what it is, yet who I was to spend my forever with was not nailed down. Now, knowing that I will marry my most favorite man in the world brings me not only incredible peace, but excitement, looking to the road ahead, with all its joys and struggles.
I am savoring these moments for as long as possible, because I know in time I will look backwards to this season with love. This is the time in my life when I was recently engaged, busy planning my wedding. This is the time when my niece was 18 months old, and my parents still alive. This is the time in my life when one best friend was expecting her first baby, and the other still single. This is when I worked where I worked, knew who I knew, liked what I liked, and had yet to experience the things I will know then, when I am looking back.
This is a time crackling with possibility, pregnant with joy and hope, nearly bursting with enthusiasm and incredible wonder at the blessings God has poured out on me.
Today I felt it in my fiance's backyard, gathering lawn trimmings, the sun on my face and the cool breeze sighing about me. God was right there with me, not speaking, simply keeping me company. We have always had a secret understanding of time, the past and future more hazily, with "now" shining brightest -- whenever now is. He understands every reference and every question, though with obviously more depth. Yet He blesses me with now, and not the future, that I may appreciate it as it comes. He could reveal His ancient depths and strike me down with enormity, but He is content to wait. My blessing is now. God's language is now.
He knows my past, my future, my purpose, how excited I am, my worries, fears and possibilities. But He smiles and rides with me. Not daring to keep now from me.
Sweet Abba.
Spring, on the other hand is birth, life, light, freedom, color, and vitality. Babies of every stripe are all around as God's nature surrounds a sea of sound and color. We open our doors more enthusiastically, a slight swagger in our walk; more self-assured now that the sun has dawned one Spring more.
This Spring is especially tender to me. I am no longer adrift wondering what "my life" will be like. I realize that up to this point, it has never failed to be what it is, yet who I was to spend my forever with was not nailed down. Now, knowing that I will marry my most favorite man in the world brings me not only incredible peace, but excitement, looking to the road ahead, with all its joys and struggles.
I am savoring these moments for as long as possible, because I know in time I will look backwards to this season with love. This is the time in my life when I was recently engaged, busy planning my wedding. This is the time when my niece was 18 months old, and my parents still alive. This is the time in my life when one best friend was expecting her first baby, and the other still single. This is when I worked where I worked, knew who I knew, liked what I liked, and had yet to experience the things I will know then, when I am looking back.
This is a time crackling with possibility, pregnant with joy and hope, nearly bursting with enthusiasm and incredible wonder at the blessings God has poured out on me.
Today I felt it in my fiance's backyard, gathering lawn trimmings, the sun on my face and the cool breeze sighing about me. God was right there with me, not speaking, simply keeping me company. We have always had a secret understanding of time, the past and future more hazily, with "now" shining brightest -- whenever now is. He understands every reference and every question, though with obviously more depth. Yet He blesses me with now, and not the future, that I may appreciate it as it comes. He could reveal His ancient depths and strike me down with enormity, but He is content to wait. My blessing is now. God's language is now.
He knows my past, my future, my purpose, how excited I am, my worries, fears and possibilities. But He smiles and rides with me. Not daring to keep now from me.
Sweet Abba.
1 Comments:
i know the wind is the ear of God. He seeks the whispers of the soul & wisks them onward, outward,upward--bound, yet free, toward Home. This wind never ceases--gently or (violently) it demands, always, a degree of attention. And in the sighing of the wind we learn & hopefully return (in kind) this gift: of listening.
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